The Walking Clauses

The Walking Mrs Clause, originally uploaded by slushbox.

Zombie Santa and Mrs Claus...Had to paint some stuff for the Nightmare before Christmas Art show, been reading the walking dead comic lately .. you do the math..

Lacey

Lacey, originally uploaded by slushbox.

I painted this at the last art show.. the theme was Nightmare Before Christmas. I wasn't really trying to make her all Christmas-ie but that’s how it turned out...

its a small painting about 5x7 or so. if anyone is interested a bargain at $125..

No Virginia there isn't a Santa Claus...

My favorite article I have to re-read it every year around this time...

As a result of an overwhelming lack of requests, and with research help from that renowned scientific journal SPY magazine (January, 1990) - I am pleased to present the annual scientific inquiry into Santa Claus.

1) No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT, since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the children who believe in different gods, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each god-believing household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding, etc. This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man- made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized Lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.

5) 353,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecrafts re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now

Rape The Day

Rape The Day, originally uploaded by slushbox.

Finished doing a commissioned tank girl themed illustration for a client as a gift for her best friend.

This isnt it ...but i had so much fun with that one i had to do another one in that style, so here is that one. its been so long since i did anyhting in this comic book style.. it makes me miss drawing comic books!

I'll post the original commissioned one once its given to the clients friend for now enjoy this one.. I'll bring the other one to The Nightmare Before Christmas show at the Lounge in West Palm Wednesday the 22nd. It will be for sale if you are interested in a last minute christmas gift.

Tits and Tats Calendar

Tits and Tats Calendar, originally uploaded by slushbox.

Order now and have plenty of time for the holidays. 12 months - 40 boobs! thats 3.3 boobs per page. This 11 x 17 calendar Features all the paintings from the
Tits and Tats series as well as a few extras. Pin these tits on your wall today. In stock and ready to now shipping.
Buy it now here:

Seppuku

Seppuku , originally uploaded by slushbox.

I've had this painting stuck in my head for a while now. I finally got around to painting it. I’m really happy with how moody and somber it came out. For those who aren’t versed in Japanese Seppuku, the practice was part of the samurai bushido code. When the samurai brought shame to their feudal lord or shogun, also instead of falling into the hands of their enemies or as a form of capital punishment.

it was done with a wakizashi (shorter sword then a katana) or a tantō (knife) with a cloth wrapped around the blade so they wouldn’t lose their grip or cut themselves. Which apparently was important even though they were about to disembowel themselves..

After the left to right cut was made the samurai’s chosen second attendant, (kaishakunin) would take their head to lessen the pain. It was supposed to be done so that only a thin piece of flesh remained to keep the head attached.

Granted this was usually done in a ceremonial white silk robes but then you wouldn’t get to see her sweet back tat!

PandaCakes

PandaCakes, originally uploaded by slushbox.

Ok, Ok, one more for the road. The wife wanted one of her actual tattoos, plus i needed a filler page for the calendar. Which is in pre press right now i just have to make some final tweaks it should be on the press next week.

Prints available soon but in the meantime here is the speed painting on it:

Temptress

Temptress, originally uploaded by slushbox.

Ok thats it for the series, I'm going to have the calendar info soon for anyone that is interested...its been fun.

I'm on to something new.. maybe Butts! or vaginas...anyone?

Devine

Devine, originally uploaded by slushbox.

Here is the Bandito Blonde girl. She may act all tough but she just needs a hug. Or a good spanking. Or both… oooh this is sounding good.

Erika's Hula Girl

Erika's Hula Girl, originally uploaded by slushbox.

A good client of mine saw this painting by my good friend of mine (Raven Girl's Nest)
We actually combined these two paintings: Hula Girl & Hula Tiki
I was honored to tattoo this on her. Hope you like it Gooch!

Today's post was brought to you by the letter N

N, originally uploaded by slushbox.

So a buddy sent me one of those viral internet meme emails about a dude that carved pencils into all sorts things like shoes, hammers and the alphabet.. you can see a few of these pictures here. But enough about that, I wanted to see how hard it was so I stole borrowed a pencil and when at it with and xacto... these are all from the same pencil I just broke it off and started over... I have a few of the broken ends (I threw a few out too..)

While I admit mine are not as perfect as his. You have to remember i am incredibly lazy and can accept shoddy workmanship. That and these were the first few I’d ever done. I bet he’s been doing this for 20 years, I have shit to do I can’t waste my time carving pencils. Well maybe I can spare just one afternoon. So in the words of the imortal Tosh.0 “nanny, nanny, boo, boo, stick your head in doo doo.”

Blow-Her!

Blow-Her!, originally uploaded by slushbox.

Ok, so this was fun as fuck to paint! I spent all afternoon Saturday and Sunday watching the Lost TV show Auction and painting this. I lost every item I bid on. It really made me pretty sad. I loved that show and all I wanted was a Dharma Jump suit! ... or one of the hatch doors, or some fake Black Rock dynamite, damn-it! And I blame Amanda for talking me out of bidding on Lockes Coffin. $1200!!! come on that was a steel! I'll show you where I’d have kept it!

Anyway, I'm starting to blend my kustom kulture car stuff and my boobie series! Best of both worlds, right? This is going to premier at the Howley’s Hot Rods and Hot Chicks art show tonight, that is if no douchey customers bitch about her nipples being out. Fuckers.

Now, how can I blend Cars, Lost and Boobies? Hummm, the wheels are turning. Frozen Donkey Wheels! (that sold for $27k if you were wondering)

Obey

Obey, originally uploaded by slushbox.

I knocked this out in a few hours the other night at a live painting event downtown West Palm Beach, I had a little input on the tattoos thanks to Sara, and others.

It looks kind of grainy from the scan but that’s because it’s a tiny 6x6

Sorry no stop motion on this one I left my camera at home. So here is an super in progress action shot mid painting courtesy of Angela Tronick.

This painting is available for the low, low price of $120 smakeroos! Contact me if you are interested. It should be up on Slushbox.com within the week.

Livin Large

Livin Large, originally uploaded by slushbox.

Ok i know i said just 9 of them but was talked into doing a final 3 to make a full set of 12 for a calendar. The last set will be black and gray west coast gangster style tattoos.

No she's not throwing an particular gang sign. If she is i hope that its the gang sign for don't shoot the artist, yo!

Here is the Time Lapse...

Super Mega Wow Post!!!

Ok first I wanted to let everyone know I will be starting to take bookings for the South Florida Tattoo Expo Aug 13th - 15th. Contact me at jr@hellcattattoo.com If you want to get tattooed at the show! I'm especially looking for some crazy shit to do for tattoo of the day for each of the days. Also a call to all my previously tattooed folks. If you have any pieces you want to enter in the competition I'd be much appreciated. Contest is on Saturday, be there early to register.

On to other business. Ok my slacking ass finally got around to adding new products to the SlushBox.com store. I have all the prints of all 9 editions of the Tits and Tats series including the 3 up posters (three prints in one 12 x18 poster) They are also available individually.

Also listed are the prints of Breezy, Pink Love, Look at the Bird, Meant to be and Can't Stop the Rock!

And finally some new original paintings are finally available including the 3 Tits and Tats Sets, Pink Love, Can't Stop the Rock, Look at the Bird, my new fav Breezy, and the cool and cheap 6x6 Flasher. Check them out below!

Beat Down 12x6 Poster	El Diablo 12x6 Poster	Fink 12x6 Poster
Classy 12x6 Poster	Baby Doll 12x6 Poster	Man’s Ruin 12x6 Poster
Oni 12 x 6 Poster	Sakura 12x6 Poster	Tatsu 12x6 Poster
Hot Rod Originals | Poster	Japanese Set Originals | Poster	Traditional Set Originals | Poster
Can't Stop the Rock 8.5x15 Giclee | Poster | Original	Breezy 12x12 Poster | Original	Pink Love 11x14 Giclee | Poster | Original
Look at that Bird on the Pier 12x6 Poster | Original	Meant to Be 12x6 Poster	Flasher 6x6 Original

Gizmo and his Pink Corvette from Gremlins Tattoo

Gizmo and his Pink Corvette from Gremlins Tattoo, originally uploaded by slushbox.

You know this is the baddest ass tattoo you've ever seen on a man! rock the Mutha fucker out Calvin!

Keep and eye out for Stripe and his cross bow coming next.

Flasher

Flasher 1024, originally uploaded by slushbox.

I completed this painting last night in about two and a half hours last night for live painting art show in West Palm. The theme of the show was "exposed". I think it fits the bill. This is a tiny painting for me at 6x6, I had to break out all my little brushes that each have about 4 hairs on them. Unfortunately I have a bad habit of leaving my brushes head down in a cup of murky black ink filled water thus rendering them useless each time I go to use them. One day I’ll figure out that that is not a good idea.

If you are interested in the original let me know. Its $120 which is probably one of the most affordable originals I have for sale.

Breezy

Breezy, originally uploaded by slushbox.

Just finished this painting last night. It won't be part of the tits and tats calendar set since it’s a different format. Then again maybe I can use it for the cover or something. We'll see.

I knocked this out in about 6 or 7 hrs. I think I’m going to do a few more with the tattoos peeling off the figure. This one is 12x12 on Acrylic board. Sorry no stop motion of this one.

Skull Samurai - "Shi" Tattoo

Skull Samurai - "Shi" Tattoo , originally uploaded by slushbox.

This piece has been in the works for about a year and a half or so. It was done using the art from my "Shi" painting.

The owner of the tattoo saw the painting and wanted to get it tattoo. I ended up drawing his other sleeve as a "Day of the Dead" bandito which later becase the painting "Merchant of Death".

Prints of the painting are available on Slushbox.com the original is sold and long gone.

Shi - Giclee 12 x 12
Shi - Poster 12 x 12

Swallows with an Anchor Tattoo

Swallows with an Anchor and Liberty Banner Tattoo, originally uploaded by slushbox.

This was done on a French girl that works at Disney World. Super nice girl drove down for the day to get this knocked out. Sat like a champ for 5 or 6 hours.